A Note for Camille
by purplerose9793
Summary: Logan is finished. He can't take it any more. As he prepares to end his life, he writes one final note for Camille. One-shot! Character death - don't like, don't read.


**Hey everyone! I am back with a one-shot from Logan's POV. I experienced and read amount some things relating to suicide lately and then out came this little one shot. It is not copying anyone or anything in particular, so any similarities are unintentional. **

**Alright! Enough of the intro! On with the story!**

Logan's POV:

I set down a glass of water and a small bottle of sleeping pills on my bedside table. Condensation dripped down the glass, blooming into a small bubble once it hit where the bottom of the glass meet the table. I glanced in the mirror on the wall and sighed, running my bony fingers through my raven hair. I didn't care if I messed it up. James was the one who was hair-crazy. I, for one, didn't give a damn about the threadlike strands growing out of my scalp.

Don't tell me no. Don't say I shouldn't do it. You haven't walked in my shoes, you haven't seen what I've seen. Yes, my friends where like my brothers. Kendall, James and Carlos, my bandmates, would be devastated. Yes, Kendall's mom, Mama Knight as we called her, and his sister, Katie would be shocked. Yes, my parents back home in Minnesota would be ruined. But, I just didn't care anymore.

Don't say because I'm famous, because I have girls practicually throwing themselves at me, because I'm in a famous boy band, that I shouldn't do it.

That I shouldn't commit suicide.

Yes, being the idol of many teen girls is great, but it's hard to face the hate. Their are people out there who just seem to get their enjoyment out of making others feel bad. Not just bad but hurtful, and worthless. They shout "Faggot!" and post shameful things online.

Now, most people would think that someone shouldn't end their lives just because of some anonymous post online, but there is a pretty good chance they aren't in the limelight like your's truly. They don't have to keep up with the pressure of fame - to look act, sing, dance, even eat a certain way.

I'm not like my friends, who can make fans swoon with just a toothy grin. I'm just a awkward mess, who can't even dance. I'm not the "cute one" or the"sweet one", I'm just the "smart, unbalanced one". Ask almost any girl - they'd rather have cute than smart.

I'm constantly needed to look like this, act like that and I just can't keep up with it all!

This has affected me in the worse way, made me lose all hope. I am done.

The bedroom door was just about kicked open and Kendall poked his head in. I quickly stood up and looked him in the eye, trying to act as normal as possible, which was slightly difficult for me. I shifted my body so I was blocking the glass and pills on the bedside table.

Kendall had a towel wrapped around his shoulders, and Hawaiian print board shorts. He grinned his silly grin at me. "You sure you don't want to go swimming with us, Logie?"

I squinted and glared over my shoulder at the glass of water and pills on the table before answering. "No, I was actually looking forward to do some reading." I said, short and sweet.

"You can read at the pool you kn-" Kendall was cut off by Carlos wearing trunks and goggles, walking by and moving his arms in a swimming motion. He made loud bubbly noises. I raised my eyebrows.

"Yeah, the pool may not be the best place for reading, you're right. Whatever then, we'll be back within a few hours, but Mom and Katie will probably be back sooner. You sure your alright?"

I nodded once, "Yes, I am fine."

Kendall didn't look like he quite believed me but shrugged and muttered a "Ok.", before leaving with James and Carlos, and with a chorus of "bye"s and a door slamming shut, I was alone.

I waited for about a minute, waited for any sign of anyone coming back to the apartment. I got none. I was alone.

I bent down and lifted up my mattress and found what I was looking for - a thin, spiral notebook. I flipped through it and saw my own handwriting on each pages, with names at the top of each. A short letter, one for each of my friends and family. I shuffled through the pages and saw all the names as they appeared on the pages and disappered just as fast - _James, Kelly, Katie_ and many more. A little goodbye note from me.

I picked up a pen and scrawled one more name across one more page - _Camille. _

I had rehearsed what I wanted to write to her, but my mind came to a blank. I breathe deeply and simply wrote -

_Camille - you are my world. Your eyes shine like diamonds and your smile makes me faint. I'm sorry we can't be together anymore, I needed to do this. Not because of you, though. You were my shining light at the end of this black tunnel called like, but sadly, I didn't make it to your light. I am forever trapped in blackness, it's too dark to see._

_Goodbye, my beauty,_

_Love Logan_

I shut the notebook, and placed it next to the water, which I grabbed next. I swallowed a mouthful, opened the pill bottle and dumped out a handfull.

With one last breathe, I put the pills in the mouth. Some more water and a final swallow.

I lay down on the bed and shut my eyes, thinking of everyone but I kept going back to Camille.

"I love you." Three last words.

The world went black.

**Thanks for reading. I hoped you enjoyed. Any tips for future stories? Also, Please review :)**


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